We recently had two hurricanes, Marco and Laura, which roared into the Gulf of Mexico at about the same time and about the same place, namely Lake Charles, Louisiana. Two storms of this magnitude, at once, were unprecedented in recorded history, which in Louisiana might not have been that long ago.  That’s when the Cajun Navy sprang into action. Those brave volunteer sailors paddled into all the bars on the wet side of the storm in New Orleans and saved all the liquor and all the girls pouring it. 

Recorded history in Texas goes back at least two weeks before the Cajuns. For example, in 1995, Hurricane Dean was predicted to hit the Gulf Coast, maybe to my home state of Texas, maybe further south. “I hate to wish this off on the Mexicans, but…” said a friend. “Me too,” I replied, “Because they’re all up here.”

Well, old Dean sideswiped Jamaica, drenched the Cayman Islands and roared ashore on the Yucatan before emerging just South of Cancun and Cozumel, sparing the resorts. Fortunate again, because all of OUR people were down THERE and might have spilled a drink or two when Dean came ashore. A category 1 through 5 in Mexico refers to how many Tequilas you’ll have when things get stormy.

“It wasn’t so bad,” said one observer, “only 100 mile an hour winds, but what worried us was the 100 mile an hour coconuts.” 

Two young ladies were tanning on the beach in Mexico where they and the storm got national attention when several caballeros advised them to get out of their bikinis. And Dean helped them.

The girls had developed a friendship even though one, Ashley, was from Long Island, New York and the other, May Belle, was from Alabama. Since their vacation had been shortened Ashley suggested May Belle comes home with her, which she did. After a few days the girls were ready for the night life in upstate New York. Ashley asked May Belle if she wanted her to fix her up with a date.

May Belle asked what kind of a hunk she might expect to find in this part of the U.S. Ashley told her, “This is a very Cosmopolitan area. We have boys to choose from who are from all over. You want a date with a Northern or Southern boy?”

“What’s the difference?”

“Well, Southern boys are attentive, and courteous, and spend considerable time and money in wooing you, slowly but surely.”

“And the Northern boys?”

“Now, they are a little different. They are aggressive, fast and try to sweep you off your feet on the first date. Which will it be?”

May Belle batted her artificial lashes, threw her hip about 6 inches out of center line, puckered her lips like she had just had a swig of persimmon juice and replied, “Get me a date with a Southern gentleman who lives as far North as you can get.” 

Doc Blakely is a humorist and motivational speaker who resides in Wharton. For more information, visit www.docblakely.com.

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