The Bellamy Brothers, Howard and David, are musical super stars known for the song, “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me,” “Let Your Love Flow,” and hundreds of others. We worked a show together once and we got acquainted. These guys are known as the Reggae Cowboys. I asked a local if he knew anything about Reggae and he told me he knew about Ronald Reggae but he had always voted a straight Democratic ticket.
My old pal, humorist Big Al “Bear” Walker, was also on the program. Bear weighed 465 pounds just a few years ago but had lost more than my entire weight and was feeling Slenderbolic now at a sleek 260 or so depending on the relative humidity, barometric pressure and downwind proximity to the nearest doughnut shop. Bear is from Chapin, South Carolina and didn’t have much cowboy gear other than a pair of boots. He asked my help. I loaned him a belt buckle the size of a Buick hubcap that read “The Great State of Texas” on it. Big Al joked to the audience that they should be alert because if that buckle burst from the pressure he was under, the shrapnel would take out the first three rows easy. Big Al called me when he got home to let me know that he had bought a big belt buckle of his own, that featured South Carolina Gamecocks, and intended to wear the cowboy gear all the time. When I asked why, he told me. “An attractive young lady told me at the show that I looked hot. I been wearing a suit and tie all my life and nobody ever told me I looked hot. I’ll swear I’m gonna buy a mule and learn to play the wash tub or something so I can hang with those Reggae Cowboys.”
In visiting with Howard and David I discovered them to be world travelers as well as the most nominated duo in Country Western history. When I asked what was the worst date they ever played they agreed that the most harrowing experience was one they “almost played” in Kentucky. A big promoter decided to put Jerry Lee Lewis on in front of them. This was a clear breach of contract, making them miss their next show, a huge venue, so they’d just leave. The promoter said, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere,” and pulled his coat to one side to reveal a pearl handled pistol. Howard retreated to the bus and loaded his 410 shotgun and poked the barrel out a side window while their hired Kentucky stagehands, who were also packing heat, held the disappointed crowd at bay with their own six shooters. They escaped without shots being fired but Howard rode shotgun throughout the night.
David said, “Yeah and then the guy sued us for breach of contract.”
“And won,” laughed Howard. I’m glad I asked.
Doc Blakely is a humorist and motivational speaker who resides in Wharton. For more information, visit www.docblakely.com.