Aged cider 'keeps them frisky'
Pokin' Fun
'Doc' Blakely

There is an old saying that an apple a day keeps the doctor away and kids who want to be the teacher's pet bring her an apple. I've always wondered why the apple, why not a cumquat, fig or a nice juicy pomegranate?

Well, I suppose that curiosity was instilled in me by a teacher somewhere along the line. All of us are indebted to teachers and I'm no exception. I don't even remember most of their names but somebody taught me the alphabet, multiplication tables, biology, spelling, physical education, typing, the list goes on and on. As I type this on a laptop I don't know who drilled the skill into my brain but I don't even have to think about where the letters are on the keyboard. I was reading an article, some teacher taught me how to do that too, about the typewriter and why the letters are arranged the way they are on the keyboard. Do you think it is so we can type fastest that way? No, it was done so the keys on the old style typewriter wouldn't hang up as often if you typed fast. It turns out that you can type a lot faster if the keys are arranged in alphabetical order where you can also find them easier if you hunt and peck. Well, I'll tell you if they rearrange keyboards I'm going to throw a wall eyed fit.

But I do appreciate the teaching profession. I used to be in that racket myself until they found out what I was teaching and how. I taught everything they had a book for and even wrote a few myself but when I was not even nominated for the Nobel peace prize for literature I self published and hit the rubber chicken and pellet pea circuit. That's when I discovered a very interesting fact. At least for me, the more I entertained and the less I tried to teach an audience the more I was appreciated. You may not believe this but even teachers are relieved if they think you're not going to try to teach them anything.

For example, I spoke to the Texas Retired Teachers Association recently in El Paso, about 600 in the crowd. I had the evening banquet spot and when I told them that I had decided to just share some laughs and sing some silly songs with them they broke out in applause and great sighs of relief. One lady in the crowd was introduced before I came on. She had been retired for 44 years. She is 106 years old, no joke.

She was helping her son get around. He had only been retired 20 years or so. Both of them were great listeners and laughers and I had a chance to visit afterwards. I asked her if it was true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. She said, "Maybe, maybe not but a little aged cider keeps them frisky."

Doc Blakely is a humorist and motivational speaker who resides in Wharton.