Aunt Jo wired fast; just ask Pastor Fetch
Pokin' Fun 'Doc' Blakely

I suppose everybody has a "character" in their extended families. This extension came through my wife's side of the family. Her Aunt Jo became mine as well. She was wired fast. She could turn out the light in her den and be in bed before it got dark.

"Well, I'm off to bed," she announced in the middle of a party one night and the rest of us were lucky that we had candles on her birthday cake because like the "Roadrunner" she turned out the lights and was gone. There was just a vacuum that sucked loose napkins and small children down the hall.

She went to Hawaii once and only once and that only because her children sent her off to experience some of the rest of the world. When asked how she liked Hawaii, quick as a lighting strike she replied, "Didn't like it. Too many birds, chirp, chirp, chirp."

Aunt Jo had a great sense of humor and was a bit frugal too. When she and her kids went to church she always warned them not to shake hands with people because germs were spread that way. Just to be safe, as soon as they were seated she would pull out a handy wipe, clean her hands then pass it down to the rest of the family. The one on the end always stuffed it in the offering envelope and dropped it in the collection plate. "Image is everything," she said," we're the only family in church that puts in two envelopes." I'm sure Aunt Jo entered the Pearly Gates with a clean spirit.

At her celebration of life a lot of stories like this were told of a long life well lived. The pastor of her church was Reverend Fetch. She loved to get him out on the golf course, hit a ball out of bounds, and yell at him, "Pastor … Fetch." She used the same line at Frisbee games, softball outings and restaurants when the check came.

One of her best friends was at the celebration. Everybody called her "Stumpy," and people who didn't know her asked about her real name. Nobody knew. So someone asked her. She said, "Marie Elizabeth," or something like that. But when she was little she was very short. Aunt Jo always described her as that "stumpy little girl" to others and it stuck. It turned out to be a blessing. Her son ran away to get married in Mexico and the authorities there wouldn't issue him a marriage license because he didn't know his own Mother's name.

I think about Aunt Jo every time I hear a bird chirp. By the way a handy wipe is a sanitary way to seal the collection envelope. The preacher probably had his hands on it and he touches everybody.

Doc Blakely is a humorist and motivational speaker who resides in Wharton.