Best stocks 'spiritual'
Pokin' Fun
'Doc' Blakely

Remember the old commercial, "My broker is E.F. Hutton and he says…" then everybody, and their conversations, freeze.

What they were listening for was a great tip on buying and/or selling on the stock market. We had the greenhouse effect, the in-house effect, now we're in the outhouse phase.

It's all the fault of Wall Street and Chicago. Both of them have the Bulls and the Bears.

Years ago I decided to dabble in the stock market by buying some stock on a tip from some local guys who had been making a killing. They advised me to buy a certain stock, which I did. Within a few weeks I had lost half my money, while they made a hefty profit.

I couldn't figure it out until it dawned on me that they were selling and I was buying their stock.

They told me I should buy more stock while it was so cheap. I did. That's when I lost the other half.

Since then I have put my money to more spiritual use.

I've discovered that you can buy quality stock like Seagram's, Guinness, and Jamison. It won't get any cheaper and if the market dips you can celebrate New Year's with no worries.

It's like these two old guys sitting around the camp fire. One was 90 plus and the other was over 100. Somebody asked how they got to deer camp and they said they drove.

When asked which one did the driving the older gentleman said he did. "Why didn't you let your younger partner drive?" asked one of the "kids" who was in his 50s. "Because the last time I did that, I got out to open the gate and his memory is so bad he thought he was by himself and drove off and left me."

Neither of these guys had concern about the recent housing market crunch, the federal lowering of interest rates or the price of cumquats. The most pressing question on their minds was when they played dominoes.

The question that haunted them was "Who's got the double six?"

So, there is no need to take the talk of recession too seriously folks.

It'll bounce back like a ball when it hits bottom.

Just keep your sense of humor and go out there and spend us back into prosperity. It's like one of these old guys mentioned before who had both his knees replaced.

He was in the airport trying to go to Bermuda when he set off the alarms.

A lovely young lady was very nice to him but asked him to spread'em and lean against the wall.

She frisked him pretty good but the alarm kept going off. She said, "Do you have any change on you?"

He said, "No, but if you'll do that again I'll write you a check."